Stuck in “before.”


I was watching a fascinating make-over show on TV this morning. The woman they were “working on” first had her hair completely transformed by this super friendly and talented hairdresser. When he was done coloring, snipping and blowdrying, she looked absolutely amazing! As he slowly spun the chair around so she could face the mirror for the dramatic reveal, he asked her what she thought.

The woman stared blankly at her new, vastly improved self in the mirror for about 30 long seconds and then simply said “I don’t know, I guess I just need to get used to it.”

My jaw did his.

Next step was a session with a make-up artist and guess what, her reaction was the same.

Every one of these professionals was highlighting every single best feature this lady had, but it was as if she simply didn’t want to see them revealed. This poor woman was completely invested in the lesser version of herself, the version that was sloppy and off-putting, the version that protected her from attention and expectations, the version that built a barrier between herself and others.

In the end, after buying all new clothes and getting plenty of friendly counseling, she seemed to have a mini breakthrough. Her smile was big and authentic and you could see that she was ready to commit to an exciting journey of self discovery and realization.  She was ready to become an active participant in her own life and open herself up to as of yet unknown experiences. She finally realized that her appearance could become an instrument instead of a void, a door instead of a wall,  one through which she could step out into the world and invite new friends to come in as well. It was an awesome transformation both externally and internally; a rebirth more than a makeover.

Don’t you just love a happy beginning?







  1. Well, this actually makes a lot of sense. When you look in the mirror, you have some expectations of what you’ll see. When there’s a disconnect, and you look COMPLETELY different, it’s unnerving. (And that doesn’t even crack the psychological shell of trying to “hide in plain sight” due to some past issue or trauma….)

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was as if they had shined up a diamond..and her reaction was so weirdly “flat” shock or surprise..almost as if she knew she could look like this but had long ago decided she didn’t want to. I also thought maybe she had had something happen to else to explain it? Felt bad for her and so many others who have issues so deep..😔

      Liked by 1 person

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