“He knew I didn’t cook, he knew I wouldn’t do his laundry, he knew I hated sports..so he knew what he was getting into!”
These were the words of a friend as she complained to me about her husband..how he had grown sullen and irritated, spending hours in the basement watching whatever sport was in season. Not too long after our discussion, her husband packed up and moved out for good.
I don’t, I won’t, I hate.
I’m not saying it all came down to those words, but that attitude surely didn’t help. The hallmarks of a healthy relationship are a desire to continuously grow into better versions of ourselves, the willingness to sacrifice when we’d rather be selfish and the discipline to invest in each other and our partnership. That initial attraction and passion creates the foundation, but a structurally sound bond is woven with the threads of a thousand selfless acts. It’s intentional..it takes time..and it’s not always easy.
I thought about this a lot the other day sitting in my life-group class at church, rolling my eyes in feigned exasperation about not having finished my homework-again. “Oh, that’s OK” everyone always reassures, “we’re just glad you’re here.”
I mean, is it really OK?
What exactly do I want out of my relationship with God? Salvation of course, but what about peace, joy, reassurance, confidence, rest and love?
Am I growing in knowledge and understanding? Am I sacrificing time to study? Am I making the investment? Am I bearing fruit?
The truth is not always.
It’s kinda like the gym membership that I recently cancelled. Lo and behold, simply paying the bill every month didn’t tone my body.
If I want to see improvement, growth, results in any area..be it in my marriage, my walk with God, or the way my body looks..I have to work on it- I have to step it up.
After all, you can’t just plant a sapling in a dry hole, walk away and expect to reap a bountiful harvest.