Time to rebuild.

I’m elated and disappointed.

It’s been a harrowing past week. What started out as a deep concern for our home on the east coast of Florida suddenly morphed into almost unmanageable anxiety about the safety of our daughter on the west coast.

Should she stay, should she go, should I stay up here, should I go down there..

And then it was too late. The time for deciding had passed; the window was closed.

The good news is our daughter’s fine, our parents, friends and family are all fine as well.  It could have been so much worse- for us.

It’s hard to express gratitude at being spared when others are suffering so badly. We lived in the Keys and recognize the many scenes of devastation: favorite restaurants, bait and tackle shops, homes and hang-outs.. We lived through Hurricane Andrew in Miami and are deeply acquainted with the hardships that lie ahead for those who need to rebuild. It’s a long, frustrating and exhausting experience; many will simply choose never to return.

Personally, I need to rebuild my core. I am not at all proud of the way I handled myself in the face of this unfolding event.  As a mom, it’s a whole different ball game when it’s not you facing a crisis but one of your kids. I wasn’t hysterical, but I was seriously obsessed; unable to eat or focus on anything but the existential threat facing my daughter. My head was in a strange place; not a dark place, but an empty place where words floated around unhinged from cohesive thoughts..everything was reduced to blah, blah, blah.

That’s no way to be and now that it’s over, I’m disappointed in myself; elated but disappointed.

I need to rebuild.

 

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photocredit:Daily Express

 

4 comments

  1. I’m in Central Florida but we have a vacation home on the west coast just south of Tampa Bay. We too were very relieved that it was not a direct hit. I know what you mean about waiting to long to evacuate. By the time I thought about it, the roads were clogged. I’m so happy your daughter fared well. It was a blessing that Irma lost a lot of her power before she got to us. And you’re right, it is mentally exhausting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • We all agreed we have a lot to think about after this stress-exercise..esp my folks. Last year with Matthew, they insisted on staying home on the east coast (I drove to the west coast with my daughter who had accepted a job offer in Tampa the night before and was going to have to look for a place to live) Even though nothing happened, my mom was mad at me for “not trying to change their minds” ..this time around they were literally forced to leave by one of my step-dad’s daughters. They wound up here in Charlotte after a nightmare evacuation through Atlanta..and were ultimately miserable. It will wind up costing them well over 5 thousand dollars- incl all the last minute transportation that was required to be hired to move them-they are 86. I told my mom you have us kids in an impossible bind, we are damned if we respect your choices, damned if we don’t.. my daughter needs to come up with a better plan as well..if it had been as strong as they were predicting, she would have been in trouble where she was with no shutters..our house on the east was fine..my husband goes back down tomorrow to take the shutters off..exhausting.😐..but yes, there’s so much gratitude that it wasn’t so much worse..it was terrifying for a while-esp when I realized my daughter was going to have to stay. Glad everything worked out for you too- PHEW.

      Liked by 1 person

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