Dangerous Discounts

buck

Half way through making Japanese meatballs for a Christmas party we’re having today,  I realized that the brand new bottle of cooking Sake I’d just brought home from the store was expired. I know, I know..those expiration dates are probably totally bogus, but it made me mad that the grocery store sold me this stuff when it was past its “best if used by” date. (Heaven knows how long that bottle was sitting on the shelf – ew.)

Anyway, back to the store I drove only to discover that the rest of their bottles were expired as well. I dragged my pouty old self over to the wine department to see if they sold actual drinking Sake-and they did- for three times the price, in bottles twice the size I needed. 😒

I picked up a few additional items that I had forgotten on my first trip earlier that morning and approached the express check-out.  The teen working the register was bubbly and friendly, asking me if I’d found everything I was looking for. “Yes” I lied with a sigh as I swiped my card and he waited for the machine to spit out my receipt. With one dramatic swooshing motion he tore the tab, read the bottom of it and made the following, LOUD announcement:

‘You saved $ 4.00 today m’am and your senior citizen discount is $ 1.50!!’

WHAAAT?!?!?! 😯

Once I picked my (obviously sagging) little chin off the floor and composed myself, I smiled politely, signed the paper and shepherded my wounded ego out into the parking  lot. I flopped into my car and twisted the rearview mirror hard left.

Senior citizen..??

..do I really look that old???

Yes,

why yes I think I do!

Look at those crow’s feet,

that frown line,

that “number 11” etched between my eyebrows,

that droopy chicken neck..

that kid…

THAT KID!!

Saved me a buck and ruined my day!!!!

He’d better watch his step,

that little whipper snapper..

carelessly handing out those savings

all willy nilly

to those who don’t qualify

…yet!

He’s dealing in some dangerous discounts

that little..

that little….

discount dealer.

Not every “almost senior”

will handle his faux-pas with the graciousness

 class

and humor

that I did.

Lucky for him I was able to manage my emotions

only suffering a temporary jolt of depression..

..nothing that couldn’t be cured by

taking a swig or three out of my ridiculously large bottle of Sake.

Senior citizen…indeed!!

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