I had to go to bed early last night; I was completely exhausted. I went to a new Orthopedist yesterday for an appointment about my sciatica and was in full blown Comedy Central mode from the moment the nurse put me on the scale to the minute I handed over the VISA for my co-pay.
Don’t ask me why, I’ve never understood it, but when I’m at a doctor’s office I turn into a stand-up (lie down) crazy comedienne.
What exactly is that all about???
Is it because I’m nervous, because I want to change the subject, or maybe just lighten the mood? Is it because I feel sorry for myself or sorry for the physicians marching from one small room to the next like lab mice in a maze day after day after day?
I’m not this way at the car dealership that’s for darn sure. If my car is making strange noises, I lower my voice a few octaves when I talk to the mechanic and put on my best cranky, in a rush, self-important, puffer face. I’ll sit in that waiting room with an impatient glare, flicking though recipes on my i-phone as if I’m Hillary Clinton sorting through classified e-mail.
Just diagnose the problem and get me outta here Mac.
If I have strange noises going on in my stomach on the other hand.. well, hand me the microphone and slide me a glass of water because I’m gonna be crackin’ some off color jokes for you doc.. How much time do I have?
The only exceptions to this medical comedy routine are my mammogram where I put on a modified act that requires minimal breathing, and the dentist of course where he’s the one trying to be funny and all I can do is nod and snort.
Yeah, no one likes to feel that they’re trapped at a lousy show..
I’ll need to remind myself of that when I go for my next annual physical at the OB/GYN.. hands down-and legs up- the site of some of my best performances.