Hey Doc, did ya hear the one about…

I had to go to bed early last night; I was completely exhausted.  I went to a new Orthopedist  yesterday for an appointment about my sciatica and was in full blown Comedy Central mode from the moment the nurse put me on the scale to the minute I handed over the VISA for my co-pay.

Don’t ask me why, I’ve never understood it, but when I’m at a doctor’s office I turn into a stand-up (lie down) crazy comedienne.

What exactly is that all about???

Is it because I’m nervous, because I want to change the subject, or maybe just lighten the mood?  Is it because I feel sorry for myself or sorry for the physicians marching from one small room to the next like lab mice in a maze day after day after day?

I’m not this way at the car dealership that’s for darn sure. If my car is making strange  noises, I lower my voice a few octaves when I talk to the mechanic and  put on my best cranky, in a rush, self-important, puffer face. I’ll sit in that waiting room with an impatient glare, flicking though recipes on my i-phone as if I’m Hillary Clinton sorting through classified e-mail.

Just diagnose the problem and get me outta here Mac.


If I have strange noises going on in my stomach on the other hand.. well, hand me the microphone and slide me a glass of water  because I’m gonna be crackin’ some off color jokes for you doc..  How much time do I have?

The only exceptions to this medical comedy routine are my mammogram where I put on a modified act that requires minimal breathing, and the dentist of course where he’s the one trying to be funny and all I can do is nod and snort.

Yeah, no one likes to feel that they’re trapped at a lousy show..

I’ll need to remind myself of that when I go for my next annual physical at the OB/GYN.. hands down-and legs up- the site of some of my best performances.










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