Psychological and Behavioral Tailgating

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The other day I just happened to be driving behind one of my own kids. She was so close to the car in front of her, that I actually called her on her cellphone (yes, she has bluetooth) and told her to back off.

Of course the first question she asked was “Where are you??” To which the only good mommy answer is “I’m everywhere…” haha!

Tailgating…it’s always been one of my biggest pet peeves. In a world where we prize the cars, offices, homes and plane seats that offer the most room, we turn right around and purposely remove that separation-that very space- we supposedly crave.  As I have explained to my kids, when you tailgate, you deny yourself critical time to think, react and respond appropriately and effectively.

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There are many kinds of tailgating-style behaviors that occur in life.  This morning I watched two CNN guests verbally tailgating each other for an entire news-block on the subject of guns. You just know they weren’t listening to anyone at all because they were too busy formulating their next talking point and cutting each other off mid-sentence. Verbal tailgating is beyond annoying and even though I’m not as bad as the pundits on TV, it’s an area I know I need to work on.

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Relational tailgaters are the control freaks among us who simply aren’t happy unless others bend to their will. This “my way or the highway” attitude and violation of others’ personal autonomy almost always leads to ‘bent fenders’ and can ultimately run everyone involved into a ditch.

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Then there’s the visual tailgate- when the stuff we own is squished bumper to bumper in rows and piles and on hangers. Having spent the past few months living in an apartment and then town home with virtually no belongings, it was eye opening to come back to Florida, evaluate our house from that minimalist perspective, and realize that our “accumulations” have the over-all aesthetic appeal of an overcrowded parking garage.

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As a consequence, I’ve been going room to room, closet to closet getting rid of the clothes we don’t wear, the videos we don’t watch, the games we don’t play, the books we don’t read, the decorations I don’t hang, the make-up I don’t use and the boxes with nothing in them, creating SPACE

Sweet, liberating, calming, balancing..

space

to breathe, think, move and live in!

This is the concept I want to apply more often in the New Year..

the idea of creating more SPACE..

physically, mentally, emotionally..

more space between the thoughts that spill out of my mouth..

more space between the morsels of  food that go into it..

more space to enjoy the present moment before rushing on to the next,

more space to consider decisions,

to evaluate purchases

to dodge the drama

and to appreciate relationships..

(yes, healthy relationships need space.)

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Space represents time, peace, freedom and gives us the room we need to more comfortably, thoughtfully and successfully maneuver through life.

Who wouldn’t want that?

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Photo credits: www.comedyguys.comwww.wisewomen.orgwww.houselogic.comglobetrottergirls.comwww.pakwheels.comjoandavisblog.comwww.telegraph.co.ukshanghaimetalcorporation.wordpress.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Psychological and Behavioral Tailgating

  1. Beautifully said! I love your extension of the “tailgating” metaphor to so many areas of life. I’d never thought of it this way, but … yes. Yes to more peace and freedom and space! Thank you for this thought-provoking piece, Cindy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Heather! I’m loading up my car right now with more stuff for GoodWill I’ll never miss..things that could brighten up someone else’s life while lightening mine as well. 🔆

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I totally get that. I received a few things from my sister after she passed away a few years back..basically knick knacks. I finally decided to keep a few Christmas ornaments and hang them in her honor, and a perfume bottle..that’s really it. I am a lot more sentimental about photos..but I tell ya, I have to keep the clutter at bay or else I am visually and mentally overwhelmed.

      Like

    1. Took my last trip to Goodwill today. (We leave tomorrow) I know when I come down to Florida again I will let more go..it feels so good..after you get over feeling so bad about it.

      Like

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